Welcome back to Restorative Grief with Mandy Capehart. You are listening to episode 41, titled “What’s Coming Next For Restorative Grief?” Hello again, my friends, and thank you for joining me here on episode 41. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for nearly a year! This podcast as been an exercise in growth for all of us. Everyone listening but also for my guests, and myself. I don’t know where I’d be today without some of the encouragement we’ve shared on the show. And boy, do we have some incredible guests coming up – people I’ve already recorded with and so many beautiful souls yet to interview. More on that later. For now, let’s dig into some of the changes coming up for the show, and be sure to listen through the end. I want to share a little two minute grief relief trick I employ nearly every time I get those griefy feelings.
So for those of you who are new, my name is Mandy Capehart. I’m a certified life and grief coach, creating resources for grievers and grief supporters to find a new pathway through their losses and back into wholeness. My work is available in a LOT of different places outside of this podcast, including in The Restorative Grief Project. It’s a private and free coaching group hosted for grievers and grief supporters. It is self-guided with weekly journal prompts and discussions that you can join or just observe. The group is as passive or active as you want it to be.
In addition to the coaching group and this podcast, you can find transcripts and other blog posts on my website, MandyCapehart.com and on Medium, a subscription based platform for writers, where the Ask a Grief Coach column has been going strong for two years. Also, I promise this is not just an episode of me talking about all my work – there’s a reason for the resource roundup. Bear with me.
I’m active on Instagram and Twitter, where many of you engage with me daily in messages and prompts. We’re getting to know one another, sharing our stories, and building connections that ultimately become partners in our healing! You can view my video series, Permission Granted, in the video/IGTV section of my Instagram account as well.
You can find teachings on the Wisdom app as well, which are more live-stream style thoughts I’ve shared over time, with a little bit of overlap from this show as well. My book is still available for purchase on Amazon or for free to Kindle Unlimited subscribers. I’m a guest writer on a handful of websites and publications, and also actively provide coaching one-on-one both online and locally, and send out a monthly newsletter with updates on where to find my work from the month, as well as insight and tips on working through grief.
If you haven’t caught on by now, the body of my grief work is huge. I am constantly working to build new avenues of access for anyone who needs to hear a new approach to grief support that engages our whole selves – mind, heart, body, and spirit. But this in addition to my life as a human being. I’m not just a grief professional and author. There are a lot of roles in my life that I love and I have navigated building this platform of healing through all the other obligations in my life.
So now, after a few years of all this, I’m shifting to simplify. While it’s great to be on all the different places at all the different times, I also want to ensure that the work I’m creating carries meaning for the people it’s intended to reach. I also don’t want to burnout, because hearing from each of you in all these places has given me life in more ways than I can count.
So rather than just bailing on platforms and projects, I’m going to consolidate the majority of my work to the podcast and the project. The Restorative Grief Project isn’t changing. In the future, I would love to bring it away from Facebook so that anyone on the internet can participate, but that’s a long term goal. For now, it’s exactly the intentional little community I hoped it would be in the beginning. So if you’re not already in the coaching group, what are you waiting for?
Here on the podcast, we will continue with a weekly format, taking off the month of December to rest, refocus, and renew the vision of the work. Right now, I share essays on grief and grief adjacent ideas, followed by an interview every few weeks. For the rest of the year, we are going to feature some new weekly content that might be a little shorter, including incorporating the Q&A format from “Ask a Grief Coach.”
Eventually I hope to incorporate a bit more of the grief work I offer using the Enneagram framework as well. Those episodes will be quick, intended as a little snippet of support you can absorb when you have only a few minutes to think.
And lastly, what I think is the most exciting part, is that in the next month, I am going to launch an option to partner with me as a paid subscriber. Since the beginning, I’ve offered most of my grief work gratis. Other than the book, the only source of income from all of this work is through paid speaking gigs (which are hard to find during a pandemic), and through one-on-one coaching. With a paid subscription, you’ll gain access to exclusive interviews, coaching content not available in the grief project, and more. I’m still coming up with ideas, including potentially recording some mindfulness and affirmation meditations specific to my whole self model of grief support.
The possibilities are endless, really. But my heart behind this new offering is to bring together a community of grievers and grief supporters who get it, who know the value of this work, and who are willing to support the healing of others through keeping the Restorative Grief model alive and active. I can’t do any of this by myself. The work is rewarding, and I will continue to show up for it as long as I’m alive. And this new direction of the work is just one more way we can partner together to create the grief literate culture we all want and deserve.
And now, for that two minute Grief Relief trick I promised. When the big emotion of grief hits, we often feel off-kilter. I don’t know about you, but it often makes me feel dizzy, a little lightheaded, or disconnected from my reality. What’s happening in the moment doesn’t feel real.
Which means I need to reconnect to the present. This is a chance for me to grab my thoughts and bring them to my true circumstances, to invite my emotions to pause before wilding, to ensure my body is settled, and to reconnect in my spirit to a sense of psychological safety.
When I am in this type of intense moment and my mind and heart are spiraling out of my control, I reach for something physical and small. Something really intricate is wonderful – sometimes a piece of quartz or a small painted rock is a lovely option because they are visually and texturally interesting.
I look at my watch or clock, and then I give myself a full two minutes to investigate whatever small item I’ve chosen to explore. I’m going to pay attention to the feel and weight of it in my hand. I want to notice if it feels warm or cold to the touch. Does it have a smell? Are there rough or smooth edges? This is my chance to investigate this one small item. Maybe it’s my cell phone, or even just my hand. Whatever item is close to me gets my full attention.
And as I focus my attention on this item, my breathing starts to regulate itself. My thoughts are consumed with awareness of this item and it’s defining characteristics. By the time I feel that about two minutes has passed, I can check the time and check in with myself. I do a quick evaluation of my whole self. If I’m feeling more grounded and connected, I’ll put the item away and rejoin the plot of my life. But if I’m still feeling uncentered, I’m now aware that my off-centeredness needs a little extra support and that’s okay, because that is exactly the sight we’re looking for as we learn how to pursue our healing.
Thank you for listening to episode 41 of Restorative Grief. I know it’s awkward to start talking about money, but guys. It’s real. My heart from the beginning of this work was to make it accessible financially to anyone who needs it. It’s why most of my work is out there for free. And I won’t lie – it’s nerve-wracking to offer a subscription option. But I’m also hopeful. Rather than creating so many new resources for so many platforms each week, focusing on the podcast and connecting with y’all on the socials is going to be my main deal. We are going for quality over quantity, people. Quantity is easy. I was just telling a friend how simple it is to write long books, but impactful short ones take far more brain power and intention. It’s time for me to aim this grief brain on a smaller target. I hope to have the new subscription launched by the end of August, but when the time comes, if you’re unable to support the work financially, please commit to sharing the episodes and podcast in your own circle of influence. I love hearing that new people are subscribed to the show, reading the work, or referring me to their friends. I’m not here to make the money; I’m here to make a lasting impact. I want y’all to be empowered to grieve with intention on your own behalf because when you do, you set the stage for your circle of influence to do the same for themselves. And there is nothing more rewarding than knowing our generation is bringing healing to the world and to those running behind us, too.
If you’re new to the show, thank you for sticking around on what feels a little like an alter call for tithes, if I’m honest. Good thing I don’t mind the awkward conversations! If you haven’t already, it’s time to subscribe to the show, sign up for the newsletter on MandyCapehart.com, and leave a five star review on Apple podcasts! Those reviews are crucial to helping people in need find the resources on Restorative Grief. Thanks again for listening – I hope I’ll see you soon in the paid subscriber “area,” whatever that looks like. I don’t know yet, but we will figure it out.
And one last thing. Please remember; the only solution for grief is to do the work of grieving. Thank you for you listening. I’ll see you next week.
Links + Resources from this episode: