Quick question: do you hate journaling? Blank pages, editing yourself, feeling like you “should” write perfectly? Yeah, sometimes that’s me too. But what if I told you there’s a way to get the same emotional release—sometimes even better—without ever touching a pen?
Today, we’re talking about a simple, 90-second trick: recording a voice memo about what’s alive for you… and then deleting it. It’s all about letting your body speak, releasing stuck emotions, and giving your nervous system a mini reset. No judgment, no pressure, just a little space to breathe and let go.
You know how people say journaling is therapeutic, but… maybe you just hate it? The blank page looks intimidating, or writing feels permanent, or you can’t stop editing yourself. Totally understandable. I want to offer an alternative—something that taps into the body, the voice, and yes, even the spirit—without demanding that you become a diarist overnight.
It’s based on something called the 90-second rule, which was brought into popular awareness by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist who studied the way emotions move through the body. Here’s the gist: when we feel strong emotions—fear, grief, anger, shame—our bodies actually have a natural physiological rhythm. That emotion rises, peaks, and then naturally begins to dissipate… usually within about 90 seconds. The tricky part is trauma: sometimes we can’t complete this cycle, and the energy gets “stuck” in the nervous system. Over time, that stuck energy can look like anxiety, depression, tension—basically, your body saying, “Hey, something unresolved is here.”
So what if we could let that energy move in a contained, safe way? Enter: voice memos.
Instead of writing, try this: record a short voice memo about whatever is alive for you—your story, a grief, a trauma, a worry—and then delete it. Yep, delete it. Here’s why that simple act is kind of brilliant:
- Embodied expression: Speaking uses your voice, your diaphragm, even subtle vocal tones that carry emotion. It’s somatic—your body is doing the talking, not just your brain.
- Temporal containment: Recording it creates a space for the emotion to exist, but it’s temporary. There’s no pressure to make it “perfect,” edit it, or save it forever.
- Safety in impermanence: Knowing it will be deleted reduces shame, worry, or anxiety. Your body can discharge the energy because it doesn’t have to protect it for later.
From a somatic perspective, this matters a lot. Speaking engages your vagus nerve and respiratory muscles, which are key to regulating your nervous system. And when you allow the emotional energy to move, your body can settle back into a calmer state. Deleting the memo is a symbolic “letting go,” which reinforces the message to your nervous system that the threat is over.
Spiritually, this can also feel meaningful. Speaking your truth—just for you—activates a sense of internal witnessing. You’re acknowledging yourself, honoring your experience, and the ephemeral nature of the memo mirrors the rituals of release you find in spiritual traditions: writing something down and burning it, or saying a prayer and letting it go. It’s trust-building—trust in your body, in your feelings, in your capacity to process what’s here.
Research backs this up too. Expressive writing is great for reducing stress and improving mood—but spoken emotional disclosure works in very similar ways, lowering cortisol and calming the cardiovascular system. Trauma-informed approaches emphasize allowing sensations to rise and pass rather than intellectualizing them. And that act of deleting the memo helps reduce rumination, which is critical for giving your nervous system and your mind some real relief.
So here’s a practical thing to try:
- Take out your phone or any recorder.
- Set a timer if you want, but it’s optional.
- Speak freely for a minute or two about what’s alive in you right now—grief, anger, trauma, a story you’ve been holding. No need to edit, explain, or analyze.
- Stop when you feel like you’ve said what you need—or when your emotions naturally settle.
- Delete the recording.
That’s it. One small, contained, 90-second emotional workout. No judgment, no pressure, just an invitation for your body and your nervous system to breathe, express, and begin to find balance.
Thank you for listening to episode 230 of Restorative Grief. If this is a new practice idea for you, give it a try today or this week, and notice what shifts. You might be surprised how powerful it is to simply speak your truth, honor what’s alive in you, and return gently to yourself and the present moment.
If this is your first time listening to Restorative Grief with Mandy Capehart, I’m just so grateful you found your way here. Please be sure to leave a review and subscribe to the podcast so you’ll get each weekly episode on time. Thank you to the patrons of the show, who support the Restorative Grief community by keeping these episodes alive. Check out the show notes if you’re interested in learning more about becoming a Patron of the work for as little as $2/month. And as always, before we go, one last thing. Please remember, the only solution for grief is to do the work of grieving. Thank you for listening. I’ll see you next week.
Links + Resources from this episode: